Chapter LIX: Last Call for Petrovich

So the... sigh... hamsters... come out single file, so you have to pick them off one at a time. Once you kill all of the... let's just not speak of it... them, you can crawl in and get your video game cartridge. When did the writers turn creative control to a ten year old?

Amazingly, Petrovich - unlike all the trained killers - survives long enough for you to make the long trip to get the locker key and gives you his dying words a little later after you kill him. I don't know what the hell Petrovich is talking about here, but it sounds like Snake has a jealous boyfriend or something.

...e-... Well, how else would you use a giant mech? Accidentally? Off-handedly?


Wait, how to destroy your daughter, Ellen? What the hell?

I'd say this incoherent babbling probably has to do with the twenty or so missles/landmines I hit this guy with, but with this game... God only knows.

Holy shit! Snake's being helpful and clarifying! Thanks, dude! You're like 1 for 1034 now!


Blood loss or not, I can't really make much sense out of this. Even with the end of the Cold War, Petrovich still held a bias against the East, except for his daughter - oh fuck it, why am I trying to make sense of this?

Holy shit again! Snake - for once - drops the nonsense about sound maps and shit, decides NOT to mindlessly repeat what someone just said, and actually mimics my sentiments for once! You tell him, Snake! People in this game better start making some fucking sense, right?! Uh, why can't you have done that earlier?

Yeah, that's part of a *walking* tank you don't really need to protect - the part that makes it FUCKING WALK.

And with that silly ass statement, Petrovich croaks... and suddenly!!!

TRAPDOOR!

Whee!

On to the final battle! All fifteen of them!