Solid Snake vs. Grey Fox... if you're like me, when you played Metal Gear Solid, you wondered what the fuck everyone was talking about with this Zanzibar bullshit. And if you've read this review, you realize it's worse knowing what was going on. Honestly, it makes less sense now, doesn't it? We're about to enter the hardest battle in the whole game.

For no reason at all, Fox is a shitload harder to kill outside of his mech. You battle him in a small, enclosed room which is lined around the walls with landmines! Fortunately, for Fox, he somehow can't set them off and is free to run around the room like a lunatic. Unfortunately for you - as shown in this picture - landmines fuck you up pretty bad. I guess Metallica was right.

Fox manages to move and punch a lot faster than you, making it a completely unfair fight. But again, I can't fault him too much, since he's much tougher to kill without a giant robot. Really, I killed him in Metal Gear on the first try, but it took me twenty tries to out-punch him. This fight sucks.

The game subtly shows your final blow by making the whole background black. It's like I'm boxing in space! Yay!

Fox: "If you don't mind, I'm going to inexplicably stop fighting and start pontificating. I know you like the name Solid Snake, but how about 'SOLID FOX!'. Sounds hot, no?"

Fox: "Well, you did just beat the shit out of me in a minefield. Least I could do."

Um, you're like bleeding from your forehead and... in a minefield. Maybe, "awkward position" is understating things, eh guy?

Fox: "But me? He always made me call him Cap'n Blinky. No, not Captain! Cap'n! There's a difference!"

Snake: "Fuck, dude, you talk a shitload more while dying than you do alive."