Sean Conne- er, I mean Big Boss, acts as personal trainer here. Nightmares are no way to exorcise. Start by chanting "the Body of Christ Compels You!" THAT'S the way to exorcise.

Wow, thanks, Confuscious! This is one of the few things you can read from a fortune cookie that doesn't sound funnier when suffixed by "in bed".

YOU'RE TRYING TO PLAY BOTH SHIDES! Sorry, I had to.

Snake: "You sure about the sex thing? Because in the next game I'm in, I hit on Naomi, Mei-Ling, and Meryl, and in the context of the situation I'm in, it's completely inappropriate... BUT I LOVES IT!"

This is where it comes together. This is the part that ties into the successive games. This is Snake - obsessed with war, the battle, the killing. This is what has been alluded to in the previous Metal Gear games. This is Snake's raison d'etre. Finally, some sense!

What? Oh. Never mind what I just said.

Just like an evil version of the Neverland Ranch (?), we learn the real reason behind Big Boss's love of children. He wants them to be soldiers! Yikes! What insidiousness! What evil! What-

What a random selection of verbs!

Boss: "Oh, sorry, did I stop making sense? I knew our game designers should have hired better translators."