After not only enduring the final fight, but also Fox's award acceptance speech - I'm sure the Oscars would have played his ass off stage - he leaves behind the thing he told you to burn and die for...

The MSX cartridge! With the Oilix plans!

Uh oh! Either someone's randomly charming a snake in the nearby room, or you're being taunted by the really real last boss of the game!

Go west, and... you get it again! Like an idiot ghost trying to lure a dog, someone keeps taunting you to come closer...

And it's a guy with a machine gun!... Who could it be-

Dun Dun DUN! Big Boss! Snake states the obvious here.

Big Boss: "Sorry I didn't welcome you sooner, but man, I've been nuts trying to cancel my Columbia House DVD membership. Those fuckers won't quit!"

Well, I have to admit, I didn't expect this to turn all gay love story so soon...

And here's two more things I didn't expect. First, since the Metal Gear Solids already established Snake as being born from Big Boss's DNA, I didn't expect them to look not at all alike. Second, I didn't expect Big Boss to look anything like Sean Connery.

Hey Snake! YOU'RE THE MAN NOW, DOG!

Last question: Uh, what nightmares? When the hell did this plot thread spring into existence?

This probably would have resonated more poignantly if we'd fucking heard of it before. Instead, we're force-fed last minute drama. Funny how Snake never mentioned the last 3 years of his life throughout everything he's been through in the past few hours.